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I buy a planner every January and stop using it by February.

I replay embarrassing things I said years ago right before falling asleep.

I set five alarms in the morning and still wake up before the first one, then go back to sleep.

I've gone to the gym at a certain time only because someone I like goes then.

I talk to myself in the mirror like I'm being interviewed on a talk show.

I start new notebooks constantly and never get past the third page.

I've eaten something off the floor when nobody was looking. More than once.

I re-watch the same comfort show over and over instead of starting anything new.

I keep 40 browser tabs open because closing them feels like giving up on something.

I open the fridge, close it, then open it again five minutes later like something new might have appeared.

I practice arguments in the shower that will never actually happen.

I put my phone on silent and then check it every two minutes anyway.

I walk the long way around so I don't have to pass people I vaguely know.